Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Sammy

Dreary”,  a combination of “depressing” and “weary”. It’s how today feels, starting with a text from my sister letting me know that she and her family had come to the conclusion it was time to let their dear dog “Sammy” go. A sweet Yellow Lab that I first met as a playful puppy and who’d been around to occupy the earliest memories of my nieces and nephew. Old age had taken the usual toll, ocular clouding, loss of hearing and in the last few weeks a steady decline in mobility brought on by cancer. The family has had to wrestle with the big questions. Is my dog still happy? What's her quality of life? Answers to those questions led them to the most difficult and painful of conclusions. 


    In an interview with Sam Simon, a writer on the TV series “TAXI” a creator of the TV series “The Simpsons” and of late, creator of The Sam Simon Foundation, said that when it came to his dogs, he’d loved each one of them, he’d also had to put each of them to sleep. His criteria for knowing when that time had come involved writing down each dog’s three favorite things. When they were no longer able to enjoy any of them, it was time to let them go. That might be the best way I've heard of knowing the absolute worst thing you can know about your dog. With two geriatric dogs at home, it's something I think about every day. Of course having a criteria for such a thing isn’t like having criteria for when it’s time to clean the storm drains. Assuming your dogs are family, it’s as awful a conclusion you can arrive at and yet our relative lifespans mean we will be confronted with it at some point.


    None of this will make going to sleep tonight any easier for my sister and her family. Memories of my final moments with Reno, my ear against his chest as he slipped away, are nearly as crisp and poignant as when I first experienced them. That was three years ago and I recall there was little sleep to be had knowing we’d wake up without him in our lives. Despite the empty feeling that comes when we lose someone we love, there is also profound beauty. We emerge from nothingness  to make our entry on the corporeal plane and eventually we return to it; so too do our dogs. The details I’ll leave to your individual beliefs, what I take from it however is the complete apparent randomness with which our paths cross with one another. It defies the possibility for love and yet many of us love our dogs unconditionally as they appear to love us. Of course without this there would be no pain. That’s the bargain we make when allow ourselves to feel so deeply for them.

    Greg Proops, a comedian hewn from the same stone as George Carlin and Richard Pryor draws from ancient customs, paying homage to those who have passed as iridescent lights swirling magnificently in the night sky. Tonight, Sammy ascends to the night sky to join legions of other great dogs and while for my sister and her family, the world will be a less for her absence, the sky will be brighter for her being there. I suggested to my sister that she make Sammy a cheeseburger and have some wine on hand to toast their departed friend and family member. Tomorrow they'll wake with her alive in a lifetime of great memories and the healing will begin. Goodby Sweet Sammy.

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